i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
