He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize
