Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
