I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
