so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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