I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
