I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
