ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
