TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
