found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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