I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
my shit smells like andre
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
did i just pee glitter
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
