shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
