Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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