Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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