everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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