oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
