conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
