just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
It's never too late to be topless.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
