omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
