Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
