im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
