Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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