I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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