brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
