I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Randomize
