plz talk dirty to me
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I got her a Nickelback box set.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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