well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
