im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Randomize
