im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Randomize
