They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I am one with the molecules
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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