You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize