By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
