I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
