But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
