My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
