the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
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