dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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