There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
