I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
