Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
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