After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
