He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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