the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
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