cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
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