she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Randomize
