So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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