Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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