it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
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