remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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