Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize