Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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