i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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