Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
