how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
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