By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
