i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize