I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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