There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
