Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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