I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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