Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
