I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Randomize
