One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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