your thong is hanging out like whoa
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Randomize
