I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
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