Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
