you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Randomize
